New Song: “Tie On”
http://grantdamon.bandcamp.com/
I have a bandcamp account! It’s so clean and non-trashy!
About the song:
- I was walking home from the subway on New Year’s Day in last night’s clothes - a dress shirt, plaid tie, and v-neck sweater with my jeans and sneakers - when I realized how obviously left-over my outfit was and briefly became embarrassed.
Then I reminded myself that there are people who wear what I had on as a casual outfit, even at 9:30 in the morning on a day off from work. I may usually dress like a slob, but a lot of other people put more effort into their appearances. I started thinking about all the rappers who brag about their “grown man swag” when they don’t wear Jordans and baggy jeans, and I realized that, the night before, I had secretly been just as proud of my “grown-up” casual appearance.
Idea! What if I wrote a song about how I wore a tie to look like an adult, and how putting it on made me suddenly start acting like Frasier. And what if major figures in finance started coming up to me and wanting to hang out because I had on a tie? And what if they wanted to party, debauched executive style, with lots of women, drugs, and car service? And what if, since I’m still basically the same guy, but with a magical tie that makes me a legimate adult, I compared myself to the dressed-up junk food that currently rules New York’s food blogs? And what if I made the whole song sound almost exactly the same as “Swag To Eleven?”
I have so many good ideas, I’m amazed I could concentrate long enough to spit this one out. Happy New Year! - LYRICS:
- I got my tie on
I got my grown man swag on
tie on
I want you to know that I have one
tie on
paisley, solids, plaid ones
tie on
Lookin hella old in my half-knot
So first I’m gonna flip it, and then I run it through
Then I’m gonna flip again I run it through
It’s the full windsor, and this is what I dude
Looking good for the pictures, cause I’m adult, dude
I got a tie on, you can see it wrapped round my collar, I am looking like an actual baller, I mean like a travel day basketballer, an aging scholar or maybe your father. Used to say “rather,” now I say “rather,” used to eat pizza with my hands, no longer. I’m stronger, i have to shave more often, if you think I don’t listen to opera, you’re wrong, son. Grown up, now I can call people all son, and it’s all cause of the tie that I got on. I look like a serious guy when I rock one, earnings will mature ‘cause I IRA Roth them. Used to wear short sleeves but I looked fourteen, now I’m power-lunching with chairmen of the board, please, Lloyd Blankfein likes my paisley, didn’t want to party with him but he made me, now we’re in Miami with all of these ladies, they want to talk stocks and have my babies, it’s crazy, it’s ‘cause I put on this tie, five minutes ago I was a regular guy, Larry Summers just walked by and gave me a high five and said hey man, we’re gonna have a rager tonight. We’ll send a towncar if you bring the wine, I’ll bring the caviar and some extra ties. We can wear three at once, we can really go wild, we can make a lot of money and set it on fire. We can do blow any time we get tired. Is that a Ferragamo, yo I really like it. Yeah, that’s right, Larry Summers likes my tie, bitch, and you know Lou Dobbs? Dude is a riot. He brought his posse, with partied till five, if you’ve never worn a tie, I really think you should try it
It’s like this: I used to be a hamburger, now I’m a half-pork, grass-fed hamburger. Yeah I used to be a chicken wing, now I’m a buttermilk, triple-dipped, David Chang Grub Street chicken wing. I bring warmth in the wintertime with my vineyard vines Christmas tree merry Christmas tie. Hipsters cry when they see me in my skinny tie, I typify all that they vilify but I look really fly. I mean dignified, now I’m a business guy, and my business is dressing like I’m fifty-five. Tell me, were you ever given ecstasy by Win Bischoff? I was, wearing raf simons. I like fine wine and tasteful-sized diamonds now, all right I’m lying, I don’t but my tie does, Skip McGee just called me, we were supposed to light up, since I put this tie on, I’m busy, I’ve been tied up.
